Some notes after Project Glocal TPE
Since the protest has happened on March 18th in Taipei during the Project Glocal, somehow I felt twisted and confused, because comparing to what people were apparently suffered from in the situation, what I did was an art project instead of the protest at Legislative Yuan. So weird and ridicules. Anyway, it was indeed a unstable but unforgettable memory to me.
My collaborator is the Malaysian artist, Fairuz Sulaiman, he is very talented, creative and funny. The way he showed his works is so alive and interesting. He was known by his live performance in Malaysia as well. As the sound designer, I prefer letting the “sound” speak out instead of talking something by myself.
Moreover, sometimes I’m very serious. So, it might a little bit boring to Fairuz sometimes. Especially two strangers came from different countries, backgrounds with different characters, and had the task to build up the “work” from zero… We only had less than 1 mouth to work together. It’s very difficult for both of us (at least for me). Hence, here's the problem: how we work with each other?
The first challenge is the language which we used to communicate with each other. There’s a gap between two strangers, for we had to speak English to talk to each other, and the language we used to speak is Malaysian / Mandarin. All the creativity and thinking had to be “transferred” again and again, with high speed, in the chaos.
To speak frankly, I almost gave up communicating with him, because I felt lost in so much talking and vocabularies. I was not sure of what and how I should respond, and what is the right feedback. With the presentation approaching, we were getting more and more sensitive than usual, and it's more and more difficult to balance. But the most interesting part was, I was pushed to talk a lot, to respond and feedback, trying to keep the process going on. I think that is what Dayang mentioned about the “double exposures”. Because Fairuz and I didn’t know each other, but we wished to find a way to connect, it’s necessary for us to build up a unique way to talk, even we just chatted about our lived, jokes and bullied each other, which all helped us to increase our mutual trust and understanding.
Before the final presentation, Dayang shared with me how she thought about the collaboration, and when I looked back now, yap she was right, it’s just like playing LEGO, all the feelings, good things and bad things, it would lead us to some place eventually. As long as we went through the most difficult part, the unknown began.
For what happens in Taiwan right now plus my experience of Glocal Project, I think it enforces me to realize the importance and necessity of “Equal Dialogue”. We have to be very open to any possibility, put our egos aside, respect and trust each other, so that we could create the space where we can talk whatever we want to talk. Be honest to each other about our capability and incapability. Once we made it, it would be a chance for both of us to get closer to something together, instead of fighting or reaching the deadlock.
I has been wondering if I didn’t work with Fairuz, or if we had worked longer, could we make it better? Would it become an irreconcilable conflict in the end? I’m not sure about that; we didn’t know what will happen, because it’s all by chance.
It is said, “all the people we had met in the world, we will eventually meet again, even after a long-long time.”
Thanks to the Project Gocal TPE. Thanks to Dayang, Rikey, Feng Hsin and Magan, and specially thanks to my collaborator, Fairuz, it’s a very precious and wonderful experience for me to work with you.
Let’s Marching Forward! We’ll meet again someday. :)
後記：在今年3月參與數位荒原與Glocal Project的計畫之後…
是一個很錯亂的時間點至少一開始對我來說是如此。
前兩週的時間裡一邊與創作夥伴試圖找尋以黑色幽默或嘲諷呈現相關的台灣議題，大夥們也一邊心繫著台灣不安的一刻。看著對照台北正在發生的狀況，相形之下更覺得手邊在進行的”創作”荒謬無比。這段期間除了面對陌生夥伴的緊張與壓力之外，國家的浮動更使人感到的惶惶不安與緊繃。
回到思考我與馬來西亞藝術家Fairuz的合作，在一個月內的時間，從完全陌生到後期非常大量且不斷的對話，過程中的轉折變化對我自己而言是個非常寶貴的經驗。
過往與其他領域藝術家合作的經驗，大多是可以使用中文溝通之下 (雖然同語系並不保證能真正有效溝通)。但在陌生且使用對雙方而言都是第三語言的英語溝通，是辛苦且充滿挑戰的。因為在過程中，創意發想與語言的轉譯，在不斷找尋適切表達字樣的同時也高速翻轉著；高速翻轉也意味著混沌不明與不穩定。所以坦白而言，過程中曾想放棄這樣如此高密度的對話與思考檢視。這種感覺不僅是擔憂說得太多或太少，同時也對於如何給出回應以及給什麼樣程度的回應，感覺到無所適從。
再者，創作者本身在文化背景、個性、以及如何面對創作本身的態度等種種差異，也是一大挑戰；Fairuz在藝術形式與內容上的有機、活潑與幽默，如實地反映Fairuz本身的開放、創意、有趣等特質。相形之下，有時我的嚴肅則讓我們的對話陷於某種沉默。這樣一熱一冷的組合，或許對Fairuz而言是過於沉悶的。當然對我本身而言也是相當大的刺激與考驗。於是在尚未透過聲響作品表達我的觀點與想像之前，在雙方溝通的那刻當下，我也不得不必須大量的與他談話、提問與回應，讓雙方溝通的媒介與互信能在過程中被一點一滴建立。正如同現在回看Dayang與Rikey的訪談文字紀錄，就更能瞭解當初偶有感到挫折或"something wrong"的敏感，其實正是雙方試圖用語言/溝通的樂高小木塊，來逐漸堆砌雙方合作的根基。
而當持續對話的這第一階段任務達成後，接下來或許就是影響並形塑最後共同創作樣貌的關鍵階段；創作者彼此如何在雙重曝險(double exposures , 策展人Dayang
Yraola所提出之概念術語)之下，與夥伴建立獨特的對話(工作)模式。這在反思當下的台灣現況與Project Glocal的合作過程，我更有感於"持續平等對話"的真諦與重要性；
真正的對話；需要信任與傾聽、需要對等與尊重、需要願意放下部分自我且保持開放，彼此才可能有發展共同語彙的機會、才能更接近雙方在談同一件事情的身心狀態。因此，共同發展出一個彼此能自在暢所欲言表達真正想法與感受的場域空間、如何坦誠的告知且同樣接受雙方的能與不能，是相當重要且必要的。有了信任與溝通的正常性，接下來才有機會，一起往一個新的"可能"前進而非對立停滯。
在必須有一個最後呈現的壓力之下，實在很難評斷說明一個月的時間對彼此而言是否足夠；試想同樣的組合若是有一個月以上或更長時程，就能溝通的更圓滿、作品呈現更成熟嗎？亦或是在面對處理藝術作品的差異，在經過更長時間反突顯了差異與增加衝突拉扯？都是有可能的，因為我們並不知道，不同的人、時、地的排列組合會有什麼結果。
後記於此，我很感謝Rikey、Dayang與馮馨的慧眼與邀約，選定Fairuz與我為創作合作夥伴。我很感謝Fairuz的健談風趣，化解了雙方緊繃的壓力與敏感，他應該做了相當程度的讓步與適應。也很感謝國際協調Magan，她的在場對我來說緩和了某些緊繃的狀態。
人世間的相遇都是久別重逢，我非常感謝這次的參與，讓許多人的生命短暫的重疊交會，並各自帶著不同的收穫，繼續前進。Marching Forward ！
